Biofeedback

Strange. How very strange. The first time probably in my life. I felt nothing. Absolutely nothing.

A lifetime absorbing all the pain globally, locally, personally. The pain. Real and imagined. Those feelings. Feeling of the flesh or feeling of the soul; that pain in your heart you feel occasionally, I’ve felt it my entire life. But now I feel nothing.

Nothing. Like a child again, I suppose. Yes, like a child. I feel nothing. Puzzling. Can I still tie my laces? Puzzling, if I wasn’t so blank. Nothing. I have been growing into it. Nothing. Nothing feels good. Let go. Let good.

Then the nurse needed me to leave. They need the chair for the next appointment. I’m removed from this sudden, strange euphoria.

It’s not the vaccination. It’s the reaction. A reaction the CDC won’t be able to quantify except for a blank. Nothing. As I feel standing here.

A blank euphoria that I hope death will replicate.

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